Eat like a politician

This is it. Or that is that. The Government is falling apart just because of a few silly expenses. This whole scandal is turning into a bit of a Spanish inquisition – without a chorizo in sight.

But politicians are only human and they have to eat, and they won’t eat badly with a maximum food allowance of 400 Pounds. As long as you don’t do Waitrose. But just how John Prescott achieved his well-nurtured curves remains a mystery – he must have even spent some of his own money.

All this gluttony led to a curious insight into the choice of toilet seats in the political sphere.
John Reid pushed the boat out in sheer luxury with a 30 Pound one.
John Prescott claimed £112.52 for repairs to his toilet seat. (his must have been worth quite a lot  to make it worthwhile as a 30 Pound one is already considered luxury)

Nothing ever brought the British government down. No revolution, no Nazi, no firecracker.

But who would have thought that the whole cabinet would crumble like an over baked tartlet because of ginger crinkle biscuits and jellied eels. Soon the nation will hold tribunals and throw MPs into duck ponds to see whether they’ll drown or not. If they float to the top they’re guilty – fattened up by all-expenses-paid double cream.

Claiming for a duck-island is obviously wrong but for Gordon’s sake – let them eat biscuits!

Offense: Ginger crinkle biscuits
Who: Austin Mitchell
How much: 67p

Buttery ginger biscuits.

• 125g really soft butter
• 125g sugar – white will do- demerara if you can
• 1 tablespoon golden syrup
• 1 egg yolk (no duck eggs)
• 200g flour
• freshly grated ginger
• peel of an unwaxed lemon